Angel's Past, Present and Future: The Story

Before Makeup Madness

2010
Lenses, pencil liner and glitter
was my only eye makeup

My style before Gyaru? I never wanted to be just another girl. I grew up socially awkward and quiet lonely since very little. I'd never made an effort to making friends because I'm a "blur squid", quotes my mom, even till now, but I've gotten better. My first real best friend was when I turned 13. On the first day of middle school. I met Charmaine. She wasn't the typical Malaysian styled girl, I was influenced by her at first: to be different. However, ever since I started posting photos on Facebook since 2010, the comments from people I know and people who I don't know made realised that I don't look like my race, and sometimes even don't look local, with or without makeup. I wanted to embrace my unique look. So I tried to have my own style. Other than my makeup, I took pictures from awkward angles too.

Lenses and glitter

Getting less blur of a person, I started to realize the people around me. I've also grew sick of how literally everyone around me looks the same. They have the same hair, wear the same makeup, dress the same and just happen to have the same accessories and thinking too. Honestly, they look like clones to me. It's freaky and boring. It's only once in a hundred days when I'll see something with it's own identity or statement, in other words, different.

Eyeliner and nothing else

I realised more, people here want to fit in and be accepted by the people around them. Who doesn't? They won't change or maybe even be what/who they want to be because they may be scared of the negativity that may spread, the negative comments, the people they care about (so called friends) disappearing. Or maybe it could be that they have never been exposed in style or fashion which is different? There are dozens of reasons, but I wouldn't want to spend the post talking bout it. But at the same time, I'm hoping that if you're one of them and saw this post, you'd wake up to find your own style and what you truly wanna be. We might not like the same thing, but know this: You are not alone and you never will be. You just need to find the right people.

The Exposure

Back before my Gyaru days, it was Taiwanese TV shows with "before and after makeup" sessions that got me attracted to makeup. They way makeup changed a person fascinated me a lot. Then once at Charmaine's place, I flipping through YouTube and watched Michelle Phan's Lady Gaga Bad Romance makeup tutorial and really opened me up.

2011
My second pair of lenses, Angel Grey

When I was about 9 years old, my mom got me a basket of a few makeup products on my birthday. There were eyeshadows, a lip balm and nail polish if I'm not mistaken. However, it isn't the reason why I'm kind of makeup-obsessed now.

It was because I wanted to make my eyes bigger that I bought my first makeup supplies: Just a black pencil liner and a plain lipgloss. The only way I knew how to use the liner was just draw it on my lower waterline, as for the lipgloss, simply splat it on my lips and done. Later on I got a glitter stick for eyeshadow (I loved glitters and still do). On my sister's birthday, I even got my first pair of colour contacts, they were brown, but they expired in a month and got new ones and realized that different designs give different effects. And because of the discovery, I wanted to know more about makeup. Then I got eyelid stickers, falsies, mascara and BB cream.

CNY 2010 - Day 1
14th February

My first complete face makeup was Chinese New Year, 2010. It was the same day that I started Facebooking. I had makeup on because my mom went shopping for it and I just messed around with the products. My mom is not the makeup type, so I held on to the makeup products after the festive season.

In time, my makeup collection grew, but just a bit. I learned how to wear falsies but my brows were still undone, no contouring, messy lip makeup. I was still no where near pretty.

Angel meets Gyaru 

Rina Sakurai A.K.A. Sakurina

Popteen
December 2010 issue

A year later, August 2011, I bought Popteen and it opened up my world, and changed it. The article which caught my eye the most was Okarie's makeup. There was a before shot of her face too. I loved the magazine so much that I got back day after day to collect the older issues. All of them amazed me with their looks.

Realizing new things every time while practicing makeup for fun in my bathroom, getting inspiration from every different girl from either the same or different style, just made me want to do more looks and test my limits!!

Something bout Gyaru always feels like magic to me. It takes me to a whole different world when I'm looking at their pics or even just talking bout it! More importantly, it makes me happy and gets me excited and surprised when I just look at it. I sometimes couldn't sleep just by thinking of it.

Maybe it's because I'd feel like a princess?? Definitely not DOLLY at first. I never even bothered about dolls before knowing Gyaru and before having comments saying that I look like a doll...

My love for Gyaru made me want to find out more about it, the history, the variation, the attitude, culture, lifestyle, I wanted to know it all!! I studied it through the Internet and found more about it. It's was exactly the way I think, the look I wanted to be. And that was when I wanted to be committed to Gyaru.

In 1970, a brand of jeans named "Gals" with the advertising slogan: " I can't live without men" was also applied to young girls (teens to early twenties) who are fashion and peer-conscious. "Gal" then slowly drifted to apply to a younger group who seem lacking in marriage(comitment) or interest in work(lazy). This younger group gained the word a "childish" image.

Gyaru fashion is a type of Japanese street fashion that originated in 1970s. Gyaru is a gilry-glam style which was breaking away from traditional standards of beauty (Fair face, black eyes, black hair, ETC) by dwelling on the man-made(Wigs, faux nails, fake eyelashes, ETC). Ganguro was commonly mistaken for Gyaru in English speaking countries. It was popular in 1990s but it (Fair face, black eyes, black hair ETC)eventually died out in the early 2000s. Gyaru didn't fit well in neither Japanese tradition culture nor how the media potray ideals of Japanese women as it is often classified as a sign of rebellion.

Gyarus have fought criticism even till today, the still face to same things. It is their way of holding on to what they truly love and their "fight" for it is what makes me want to be a Gyaru. It is no doubt, something that I am.

Part of Gyaru History
Ganguro

Gaijin Gyaru (Gaijin means alien)
Here it means Gals from outside of Japan

After the research of Gyaru history, my reasons of having on makeup was no longer just to be a pretty face. Makeup and my style is what's going to represent who I am. Living in the society that I do, 99.9% of the people I'll meet or met won't get this point but knowing that I am doing this because I like it and I want to, makes me feels at home and like really being myself.

Gyaru Hair

Gyaru Makeup

First Love - Gyaru

My first Gyaru attempt
October 2011
Only did one eye

My first Gyaru attempt dated back in October 2011. Flipping through photos after photos of Gals motivated me to do so. I didn't have a lot of makeup that I needed so I improvised. I cut top lashes into half, used half for extending the upper lashes, used half for lower lashes.

Sometime later, the school holidays came and I used the weeks time to practice Gyaru makeup everyday for 9 days. In between, I even got an eye infection but wore makeup too. My Gyaru look was almost all the same cause I only had one type of upper and lower lashes. It didn't change all the way till December.

Second time wearing Gyaru makeup till
the last time I used these lashes

Dolly Wink No. 2
My birthday present and
first expansion of my falsies collection 

2nd December 2011, my birthday. I went out with Charmaine and Jasmyne. We went into Sasa and I stared at Dolly Wink. I told them I wanted to get one but they thought I was crazy for willingly spending 50 bucks for two pairs of lashes. I didn't know much about falsies and their quality so what they said knocked some sense into me. Just before we left the shop, Sonija turned around and got one for me as my birthday present. Touching.

Wearing Dolly Wink No. 2

Ever since I got my first eyelash expansion for my collection (the Dolly Wink lashes), my Gyaru look looked softer. I even realized that it was more comfortable to wear than my Daiso lashes. I could even cut my other pair of lashes to make them into lower lashes now and they look more natural than before.

My collection of lenses and lashes grew bigger and I was able to create more looks now. In December 15, I finally bought a hair curler. Ever since I started curling my hair, I felt closer to Gyaru. However, my fringe was terribly curled when I started learning.

With curled hair and bad fringe
Late December till early February photos

Biggest scar I've got since
It's still here

As much as I adore myself in curled hair, there were times where I got into hair curler accidents and left scars. One on my right thigh, one on my left thigh and one on my right wrist. It doesn't hurt anymore but the scars are still obvious.

There will be sacrifices but they did not stop me. With more hair options now, my Gyaru looks got better each try and I moved on to different techniques to find the one I love most (Which was the hardest part).

These photos are from 2012

For my birthday in 2012, my mom promised me a wig. I got it later in February 2013. What made my mom make that promise? Here's the story:

I joined a Gyaru group on Facebook and the members were local. There were 100+ Gals in that group and it was then where I felt at home. Once in a while my mom would awkwardly stand beside me when i'm on Facebook or any other site. Once, I showed her some pictures of some members. I had black hair then and most of them had coloured hair or wigs. Out of the blue, she promised me a wig.

I didn't voice out to her straight away when it was my birthday as there were a lot of changes going on. I waited till everything was settled to ask her if I could get the wig which was in January 2013. We went through a few wigs and eventually I got Kumiko's 2-toned wig.

I made a blog post on this wig: Angel's New Wig Click and enjoy.

Some  photos with the wig

Not only hair, nails, makeup and clothes. I continued to "bling" out my stuff as much as I can. The must have item to be bedazzled is my phone! I tried doing it to my makeup products but they fell out faster than the jewels on my phone. So i'll put that thought on hold until I find a super strong holding glue for plastic which hopefully, doesn't melt plastic. Do comment if you know any good glues for this. Thank You.

Decorated phone

My look for the dance contest

Other than "upgrading" my stuff, I tried to get more into Gyaru culture. I learned my first parapara in May 2012. I did Caramelldansen for a dance contest in school and came in 3rd place. It was a very epic day which i'll never forget.

First Purikura as a Gyaru
Photo Booth: CUBE 003

In August 2012, a Purikura machine was available at a nearby mall so we went and check it out. I was obsessed with Gyaru Purikura while I was searching for Gyaru stuff online. When I finally got to take Purikura, it was one of the happiest moments of my Gyaru life. It wasn't my first Purikura though, but it was the first I took as a Gyaru.

I had 20 Gyaru makeup attempts at the end of 2011, 99 Gyaru attempts in 2012. Each try, I use different combinations of different product. Some looks came out better than the others but I'm proud of all of them and I will keep on experimenting on it. Gambateh!

Still Me


I still haven't forgotten my style from the past. Time to time, I'd go back to my makeup guru (Michelle) to learn new tricks in makeup. Sometimes, I'd even do stranger and crazier looks too.
I'd still experiment on different techniques that are non Gyaru related and try to create a new and different unique look. This is another way I use to practice makeup. Most of the random makeup looks here were not planned. They're just created as I simply "draw" on my face. Planed of not planed, I'm still proud that I was able to do something like this and share it to my friends.

Leopard makeup, 2013

The work that I am most proud of is the Leopard makeup created in 2012, inspired by my school's Sports Day. The houses were divided and named after big cats, my house was Leopard. I have to confess, the original idea wasn't to create a leopard look. It was to try Popteen model, Yukiko Sano (Yukinoko)'s mature cat eye makeup. Yukinoko wears the heaviest eye makeup compared to the other models so I put on thicker makeup than usual. Halfway doing the eyeliner, I changed my mind and just did a random line further than my eye and it started to look like a real cat's eye. The thought of leopard popped into my mind because I did the makeup for the Leopards last year and I thought I did an upgraded version of the leopard makeup. In the end, I did this makeup for all the leopards on Sports day for aerobics.

Gothis Lolita and OTT Sweet Lolita

Big eye makeup
Alice from
Alice in Wonderland

Some other crazier styles that I've tried are big anime eye look (Alice from Alice in Wonderland themed), OTT Lolita, Gothic Lolita, ghost inspired looks and many more. Most of the time, I wouldn't wear them out to public unless it's Halloween.

Decora look for a job
at Parkamaya

In early February 2013, I got a job to pass out fliers for Parkamaya, located at Fahrenheit 88. I was required to dress in Decora style, a Japanese street fashion style. There were 10 girls on the job that day and I really had fun, not just because I got to hung out with my Gyaru friends on the job, but also got a chance to dress crazier than usual. I got a chance to be me that day.

Practice for Caucasian eye makeup, 2012

While some of the looks are random crazy ones, there are also some where I try to look more Caucasian. Why? Am I not proud to be Asian? No. If I am able to change my face into a Caucasian-looking person, it would be one of my greatest achievements.

Caucasian makeup attempt, 2013

Time's past, new discoveries ware made and eventually, I evolved into the better. I posted a photo (left side photo from the collage on the left there) on Facebook, clearly stating that it was a Caucasian makeup attempt. One of my friends there commented that I do look Caucasian. What's to be proud of? She's Caucasian too. I am happy with it, but I'll do better in the future. Just goes to show, practice makes things better. I won't say perfect because I want to get even better.

From crazy to Caucasian, I will sometimes move back to casual. Some more subtle looks with just little special touches of accessories on my face, change in hairstyle and even photoshop just to get the "feel" that I want the photo to be.

Korean? What?!

My first Ulzzang attempt,
December 2011

In Malaysia, makeup has a whole other meaning. "As long as you wear fake eyelashes, your makeup is thick.", most people who do not know makeup thinks the same. It gets me mad to know that. As for Gyaru makeup, it's categorized as super thick makeup, my mom thinks that way too. If I were to go anywhere with Gyaru makeup, people will stare but I don't mind that. Sad to say most of my family members doesn't feel the same way. I don't look nor stare at people when I'm out walking unless if something really special caught my eye. My mom and sister looks at everyone who stares at me. What my thought is: "If I don't mind, why should you? It's not like they're staring at you." I like the way I look and i'm proud of it. I can't say that I love the attention, but when people look, I feel like I've sent the message to them that it's okay to be different. 

Well, since I AM living in Malaysia and I have relatives that do talk about my look during family gatherings, I have to tone down my look sometimes. Most the time, it also depends on where and with who i'm going too. 

Ever since this issue appeared, I started to Google for "Korean makeup" which is commonly claimed as "natural beauty" here. I do not agree with that at all. How can I? Over 90% of Korean superstars had plastic surgery and they're taking over the society. People here still call that "natural beauty'? But no doubt that their makeup is kept clean and natural most the time. While I was searching for Korean makeup videos, I've notices the term "Ulzzang" mentioned in a lot of them. I found the meaning of Ulzzang and it means "Best Face". In Korea, they have Ulzzang battles to determine the most beautiful people. There are also some who've became celebrities because of their good looks and fame. 

My best Ulzzang attempt, 2013

In time I found out that there are pages and groups for Ulzzang battles on Facebook so I decided to join. Trying out different makeup combinations and taking countless amounts of selcas made it easy for me to choose photos for battling. I even met some awesome friends there too.

Some people whom I've came across because of Ulzzang battles would leave comments on my pictures sometimes. They'd mostly comment on my Gyaru photos and albums saying: "That's so Ulzzang!", "You look like a K-Pop star", "You look like that Korean singer!", "You look like that Korean Actress!!". It really annoys me. I look Korean when i'm having on Japanese style. A few times before, there were comments on my Korean makeup saying that I look Japanese. Mixed up much?

If people I care about were more understanding, I wouldn't have to go through looking for a style that I don't like as much as Gyaru. Hopefully this post would reach out to those who won't listen and hear out my whole story so they'll know how pathetic it is to do what you don't like.

What it takes to be MYSELF

Gyaru makeup, sketch edit 2012

As I mentioned earlier, Gyaru currently represents who I am. Does doing these other styles mean that I'm betraying or trying to escape myself? No. I do this for fun  and so that I don't make my mom feel "embarrassed". While i'm at it, I get to learn new things and I've never regret what I've done, not even for a moment.

In the process of evolving in makeup, some of my friends said I was crazy, not because of my looks or style, because they've seen me doing my makeup step by step and they think that it takes a lot of time and a lot of effort. Whenever my eyes don't look alike, i'll find a way to even them out. Whenever I don't like the way I do my lips, I redo them. Crazy for perfection? Look at this from another angle: I've grew more patient, I know what I want to look like now, I am now more dedicated to complete whatever I do whenever I'm doing it, my skills and observation are getting better, I am now a more detailed person. So am I wasting my time? You decide on the answer.

Yes, it takes time to perfect a makeup look. Yes, it takes a lot of effort to get there. Yes, it take patience to balance the look out. Yes, makeup costs. Yes, there will be sacrifices being different. It all ends up to this: Are you prepared for the change? A new door is bound to open and new discoveries will be made when you try something. Everything we never do, we'll never know.

My advice is to be you and do what you like. When you're doing better day after day, looking back at your accomplishments will boost your confidence as well, so don't be afraid. 

Now what?

Looks after looks made me compile a lot of selcas. Up until March 13, I had a total of 34 Gyaru attempts, 5 "other styles" looks and 3 Ulzzang attempts. I was afraid that one day all my photos will disappear so I decided to create a Facebook page to store my photos and share them to whoever who wants to see the evolution of me. Hence, the idea of the page's name was born, EverEVO . ღ . AngeL which mean ever evolving. 

In the end of 2012, I had a total of 99 Gyaru attempts since the beginning, 36 Other Styles albums and 21 Ulzzang attempts. The number of looks I've tried on are still growing. Hopefully, the quality of them will improve as well but I am sure i'll do my best to make that happen.

Having over a hundred makeup tries for makeup looks and experiments now. The combination of how different lenses, eyeliner thickness and angles, falsies, eyeshadow colours, tones and ways to apply can change a face still amazes me. I will not stop even when I know everything. I'll keep on evolving, it's a promise to myself to keep me alive.